5 steps to Self Awareness

If you're finding it difficult to deal with the end of relationship, thes steps can help you to heal, forgive and ceate a new capacity for love.

--> Tune into your body
Ask yourself "Where do I feel the physical sensation pf emotion in my body?" for example, you may feel tightness in your chest or jaw, ot butterflies in your stomach. The simple act of observing your physical sensations helps you to dispel them; by noticing a clenched stomach, for example, you are better able to concentrate on relaxing it.

--> Write a Letter
Don't censor it, no matter how incoherent or poorly spelled it is. If you do, you're more likely to be careful about what you're writing and repress the feelings you're trying to get out. Agood way to begin is to write the first thing that comes to mind. It doesn't have to make sense. You don't even deserve a letter, you meserable bastard, but I want to say...gets you off an drunning, with the pain out om paper, not in your mind. When you've finished, burn your letter, or tear into pieces.

--> Say What You Feel
Imagine that your ex is sitting in a chair opposite you, then say everything you want to say to them, as clearly, loudly and thoroughly as you like. Swap chairs and responds as though you were your ex. Swap back and reply to what you think they would have said. Role-playing is a great way to express emotions and it can provide surprising insights into your ex's behavior.

--> Be kind to your self
Loss creates a profound strains on your body and mind. Give your self time out, eat nourishing foods, and do at least one thing to nurture your self evryday, such as booking for a massage, watching a good movie and so on. Avoid negative self-talk : you are particularly vulnarable at this time to saying and thinking things that undermine your self-worth. Remind yourself that, irrespective of what has happened, you did the best you could with the resources and knowledge that you had.

--> Seek professional help
Friends and family provide love and support, but a counsellor is objective. Find someone that you feel safe with, who can witness your feelings and validate them and then you help to make them sense of your experiences, showing tou patterns or unresolved issues that require attention. For example, you may attract partners who don't value you because you felt unvalued by a parent and you haven't learned how to value yourself. Developing awareness and understanding about your self stops you from repeating negative or destructive relationships.

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